Ranting In MLA Format

Today I'm working on an English essay. It has me really frustrated and I started ranting a few lines in. I thought I might as well post it here. Enjoy.

*My Name Witheld

*Teachers Name Witheld

*Course Code Witheld

4. November 2007

The novel “Cell” by Stephen King is a good book. Why? It just is. I liked it and you can take that as you will. I could tear it apart, find reasons, and quotes, and back it all up in the form of a three page essay, but then I wouldn't feel it was a good book any more. It would be tainted by the bad memories of having to shred it apart. That's why I don't do any readers responses on books I like. The whole process ruins the book for me. I'm going to have to find a different book to do my third response on, because I don't feel like ruining “The Salmon of Doubt” I thoroughly enjoy that book on so many levels, and this type of project would just ruin it. If you think of a favourite book as a favourite pet, you will see that this makes perfect sense. If you love your pet you just do. You don't try to pick your pet apart piece by piece to find what in them makes you love them. What you love is the pet as a whole. Once you pick it apart, what you have is a bloody mess, and your favourite pet is no more. That is just horrible. I know in a while I'll have to get rid off all this ranting and put an actual formal essay here about whether or not “Cell” was good. That's another challenge right there. I have to use “good book”/“bad book” as my thesis, those are the only two allowed. Those are, I'm fairly sure, opinions. We have to do it as a formal essay, which, by definition, are not opinions. It's the kind of contradiction that makes these projects that much harder to get a good mark on. Like being forced to build a house from what's left of you poor pet, only to have the person who made you do that complain that it seems like it was built from the remains of your pet (I think I might drop that metaphor now, it's a bit disturbing for my tastes). I really should erase all this and do the essay, as it is due first thing tomorrow, but I'm enjoying this much more. Picking English assignments apart is fairly enjoyable. Say you had this couch you really didn't like... well, you can see where that is going. You get a lot of Fabric and fluff, and maybe some fire wood, and no more evil couch. Also, you get some bing springs you can do stuff with. So by criticizing my English assignment, I get big springs, or something like that. Hang on, I'm going to check my English teachers rating on “RateMyTeachers.ca” just to see how he's doing there. I'm shocked at how good his ratings are. Oh well. Time to erase all this (probably save it first) and do the real essay. I guess. If I have to. Maybe I should go leave a comment on his rating, hmm....

Cellulose, My Good Friend

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